


Honey and Milk

by supernatural9917



Series: Destiel Smut Bingo 2018 [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel Smut Bingo 2018, M/M, Oral sex in a church, Seminary student Castiel, Seminary student Dean, That's blasphemy- let's do it, They really shouldn't be priests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:12:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15748665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Castiel hopes that becoming a priest will help quell the ungodly urges he has felt since adolescence. Dean is convinced that becoming a priest is the path an angel set him on after a near-death experience. They're roommates at seminary. This seems like an unlikely scenario for ensuring celibacy.Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo 2018. Square fill: That's blasphemy- let's do it.





	Honey and Milk

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [haikuhamster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikuhamster) for suggesting the quote from Song of Solomon 4:11.

Castiel prayed like he had never prayed before. He had been devout all his life; he had attended Mass every Sunday, had been an altar boy, confessed weekly. None of it had been enough to completely erase the urges he had felt since puberty, though, so in the end, he had decided to give his life to God and become a priest.

Everything had started well at seminary. His roommate Inias had been a gentle soul, kind and welcoming, but three months in Castiel had found him weeping in their room. Inias confessed to him that he was in love with a woman, his childhood sweetheart in fact, and she had sent him a letter begging him not to take his vows. They had sat up all night talking, and in the end, Inias had decided to meet with her before making a final decision. Castiel prayed for him to find the best path for himself, but he also slightly hoped that Inias would return.

Inias did return- to pack his bags and wish Castiel luck in his studies.

As there were only a couple of weeks left in the semester, Castiel wasn't assigned a new roommate, but when the next semester's intake of new students arrived, that changed. Castiel came in from his morning duties in the cafeteria to find another young man putting his clothes into the chest of drawers. He turned when he heard Castiel's footsteps and smiled in greeting.

He didn't know it then, but that was the moment Castiel was lost.

'Hello, are you my new roommate?' Castiel asked, coming forward to shake the man's hand.

'Yep, that's me. Dean Winchester, nice to meet you.'

'Castiel Novak. Have you just started?'

'Yeah, just got here. How about you?'

'It's my second semester.'

'Oh, so did you have your own room before?'

'No, my first roommate left.'

'How come?' Dean asked but noticed Castiel's discomfort. 'Sorry man, that's none of my business.'

'No, it's fine. He left for love.'

'Decided the whole celibacy gig wasn't for him, huh? Gotta admit, I'm pretty sure that's the gonna be the hardest part for me too,' Dean joked.

Castiel swallowed hard. Dean was easily the most handsome man he had ever seen, and it seemed very likely that he'd never needed to be celibate in his life.

'What made you decide to become a priest, Dean?' Castiel asked, trying to get away from that particular topic.

'You wouldn't believe me if I told you.'

'Try me.'

Dean sat down on his bed and took a deep breath. 'So, uh, a few months ago I was in a car crash. My baby, uh, my car, was real smashed up, and I was in a pretty bad way. In a coma for like a month, everybody thought I was gonna die. Then one day I open my eyes and I'm looking down at myself, and standing next to me is this kinda glowing person who looked like my mom. She died when I was four. So I asked her if she was there to take me to heaven, and she said no, I had stuff to do here and I needed to wake up. I asked her what I was supposed to do and she said to follow the path God led me on. Then she like sprouted wings and flew away, and I woke up from my coma.'

'Dean, that's incredible!' Castiel said with genuine excitement in his voice. 'You were visited by an angel of the Lord!'

'Yeah, exactly! Anyway, I woke up and started recovering, and there was this priest in the hospital, he was really cool and talked to me a lot. And then I started thinking that God's path was for me to become a priest. I already had a bachelor's degree, and Father Jack said the next step was seminary, so here I am.'

Castiel reached out and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. 'I'm glad you're here, Dean.'

'Thanks, Cas,' Dean replied with a grin, and Castiel did his best to tamp down the butterflies that suddenly took flight in his stomach. 'So what made you decide to do it?'

'Oh, I've always had the vocation, I suppose.' He couldn't reveal his real motivation to a complete stranger, even though Dean had confided his unorthodox tale.

'That's cool. So, tell me all about this place.'

**********

As the semester progressed, Castiel and Dean became good friends. They ate most of their meals together, studied together, and talked for hours every night about everything from the theology of Adam and Eve to who would win the World Series this year. Dean told Castiel about his brother, Sam, who was going to be a lawyer, about their dad John who was a retired Marine, and about their military brat childhood. Castiel talked about his sisters Anna and Hester, his parents Charles and Rebecca, and his devout upbringing.

They talked about music and movies, art and science. Dean regaled Castiel with tales of his conquests before his accident, scandalous stories of girls _and_ boys in his bed, occasionally at the same time. Castiel's nightly prayers were extra fervent on those nights, but no matter how hard he tried, they never seemed able to make his erection go down; instead, he would have to wait until he could hear Dean's soft snores and find his release the more vulgar way. Sometimes he wondered if Dean did this on purpose- if perhaps that look lingered a bit longer than necessary, or this touch was a shade more intimate than might be considered normal. But then reality would come crashing down- they were training to be _priests_ , for the literal love of God, and even if that weren't the case, how could someone like Dean be interested in someone like him?

Regardless of Dean's interest or lack thereof, however, Castiel could not deny that his own desires were becoming ever more troublesome. Whereas earlier in his life he could just pray away those urges, now it was not so simple. But then, before it had been more of a nebulous feeling, a fleeting attraction to a boy walking down the street or a surge of lust for a handsome actor on screen. This… this was new and solid and absurdly distracting. He was in the middle of yet another prayer asking God to take the urges away when Dean came in looking very flustered.

'Dean, are you all right?'

'I don't know. I'm… I don't know.'

'What's wrong? Is it Sam?' He knew that Dean was having his scheduled Skype call with Sam earlier, and also that Sam was not particularly supportive of Dean's decision to enter the priesthood. Perhaps they'd had yet another fight about it.

'No. Yes. Sort of. He's been doing some research.'

'What kind of research?'

'Research on near death experiences.'

'And?'

'And he was telling me all about the science around it and telling me all kinds of theories to explain what I saw that doesn't involve my dead mom or an angel.' He ran his hands roughly through his hair before burying his face in them.

'OK,' Castiel said gently. 'And is this making you doubt your vision?'

'Yes,' Dean replied softly. 'I already had doubts, but I kept holding on to the idea of that angel. Now, knowing there's another explanation… I don't know, man.' He stopped pacing and sat down on his bed. 'Do you… do you ever doubt?'

Castiel walked over and sat beside Dean on the bed. 'Of course. Doubt is part of faith.'

'I mean- do you ever think that maybe being a priest isn't what you want?' Dean looked Castiel right in the eyes with an earnest expression Castiel had never seen before. 'That maybe this wasn’t the path God wanted for you?' His hand came to rest on Castiel's knee, and Castiel was sure that his own sinful thoughts about that hand would cause it to leave a brand on his skin. When Dean gave it a light squeeze, Castiel had to force himself to breathe.

'Of course it isn't easy,' Castiel replied, his voice wavering. 'But I have to have faith.'

'Cas,' Dean said softly, so close to Castiel's ear that he could feel the warmth of his exhalation. 'Why do you want to be a priest?'

'I told you.'

'The real reason. You can tell me.' His hand moved ever so slightly higher up Castiel's thigh, causing him to shudder and squeeze his legs tightly together.

'Dean, please,' he whimpered as Dean's nose nuzzled against his ear. 'I can't.'

'I'm not wrong, am I? You feel it, too?'

'Feel what?' Castiel asked.

Dean's mouth was against his neck now, and as he spoke his breath tickled at Castiel's skin. 'This thing between us, Cas. We like each other. We _want_ each other.'

Castiel trembled, but he couldn't pull himself away. 'No, no, that's not… I can't have those feelings.'

'Why not?'

'It's wrong. It's against God. We cannot succumb to unnatural desires.'

Dean's lips rested on the curve of Castiel's ear, soft and sensual to accompany his sinful words. 'I don't believe that. I think God made us just as we are. I think he put both of us on this path, but not to become priests.'

'Then why?'

The tip of Dean's tongue darted out ever so slightly, sending a full-body shiver through Castiel. 'So we would find each other, of course.'

A kiss on the cheek shocked Castiel out of his panic. 'I can't,' he cried, jumping to his feet. 'All my life I've prayed, kept it at bay. I can't just succumb now. I'll take my vows and keep resisting like I always have.'

'Cas-'

'No!' Castiel shouted. 'I won't!' Grabbing his cassock and surplice from where they had been hanging on his desk chair, he stormed out without a backwards glance.

And now, hours later, he kneeled in the dark church, praying for guidance, praying for peace, but as usual, his prayers weren't answered. As usual, the urges continued. The heavy fabric of the cassock, whose weight had always been a comfort, now felt like a millstone around his neck, suffocating him with its restrictions. He cursed Dean, but he knew it wasn't really Dean's fault.

The truth was that Castiel had been having doubts for a long time. He didn't understand why God would make him the way he was, only to condemn him for it. There were many things over the years that had caused cracks in the chassis of his faith- Dean was simply the proverbial last straw. The beautiful, sexy last straw.

His knees were aching and his back was beginning to spasm when that epiphany hit; with a groan, he pushed himself up into the pew and buried his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do now?

Footsteps echoed as someone came walking down the nave. Castiel knew without turning around who it would be.

'Hello, Dean.' He gestured to the seat next to him, and Dean sat down.

'Hey, Cas. You OK?'

'Yes, I'm feeling much better now.'

'Good. That's good. Uh, listen, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have pushed like that. And you don't have to worry about it happening again. I'm leaving in the morning.'

Castiel shook his head. 'I don't want you to leave. Please stay.'

'Cas, I can't become a priest. It's not my path.'

'I know. But I have nowhere to go, and if you aren't here to help me, I don't know how I'll get out.' He still couldn’t look at Dean, but he heard the sharp intake of breath and imagined the surprise on Dean's face.

'Get out? Cas, do you mean-'

'I've been ignoring my doubts and fears for too long. I thought becoming a priest would help me to control my desire for… for men… but no amount of prayer could change who I am. And now I don't want it to.' He sat up straight and looked Dean in the eyes. 'You were right. There's nothing wrong with me- nothing wrong with _us_ or what we feel for each other.'

Dean's smile lit up the dark church more brightly than a hundred candles could have done. 'Cas, are you sayin' what I think you're sayin' here?'

'If you think I'm saying that I want you to fellate me in the confessional, then yes.'

Dean's eyes widened, and he licked his lips before taking the bottom one between his teeth. 'That's blasphemy- let's do it.'

Castiel stood and extended his hand to Dean, leading him out of the pews and over to the confessional. Luckily for both of them, the church was a soaring Gothic affair, with old-fashioned furnishings in dark, decorative wood, and the confessional was a Baroque-style monstrosity with actual doors and plush benches for the comfort of the priests who had to sit hearing confessions for hours in decades past. Nowadays the flow of confessors was substantially lower, and now, in the middle of the night, there was no one around to interrupt the very different use Castiel had in mind for the booth.

He pulled Dean into the roomy priest's side of the confessional and immediately pressed their lips together, but a sudden panic over his inexperience in the matter made him pull back, looking akin to a deer in the headlights.

'What's wrong?' Dean asked soothingly, running his fingers into Castiel's hair.

'I've never…' Castiel couldn't even bring himself to say the words.

'Been with another man?'

'With anyone.'

Dean's smile was a mixture of pleased and predatory. 'I'll be the first person to make love to you, Cas?'

'To do anything,' Castiel admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

'What, you've never even kissed someone before?' Dean asked with obvious surprise. 'Not even a girl?'

'I never wanted to kiss any girls, and I wasn't supposed to want to kiss boys, so I just didn't kiss anyone,' Castiel explained with a shrug.

'Oh, Cas,' Dean whispered reverently, pulling Castiel close against his body and entwining his fingers even further in his hair, 'I'm going to make you feel so good.' He kissed Castiel again, lips soft and pliant, opening slightly and encouraging Castiel to do the same. As soon as his lips were parted, Dean's tongue slipped through, just a light touch, and Castiel returned the gesture. As he grew more confident, the kisses grew more heated, and soon they were open-mouthed and sloppy, desperation to get closer winning out over finesse.

Dean freed one hand from Castiel's hair and brought it down to his waist, then to his ass over the thick layers of the cassock and surplice. He ached to take them off, to see Cas bare and stretched out before him, but there was also something filthy and enticing about fucking him while he wore the trappings of the holy vocation he no longer intended to pursue. Dean brought his hand around to palm Castiel's cock, and even through the heavy fabric he could feel how hard he was.

'Dean,' Castiel moaned, 'please touch me.' He scrabbled to undo his trousers, but his shaking hands just fumbled at the button. Dean gently shoved them away and did it himself, pushing them and the black boxer-briefs underneath down until they pooled around Castiel's ankles. The noise Castiel made when Dean's fingers finally wrapped around his cock made every last moment of Dean's brief seminary career worthwhile.

'Sit on the bench,' Dean said, gently pushing Castiel back until the backs of his knees hit the plush cushion. Castiel sank down onto it, and Dean spread his legs open to situate himself between them on his knees. 'Can I?'

'Please,' Castiel whimpered, and Dean pushed the cassock just high enough for him to get his mouth around the head of Castiel's cock. 'Dean!' he shouted, and Dean's hand shot up to cover Castiel's mouth.

'Shh, you need to be quiet, sweetheart,' Dean murmured. Castiel nodded and gagged himself with his surplice. 'Fuck, Cas,' Dean moaned, 'that shouldn't be as hot as it is.' He returned his attention to Castiel's cock, taking it deeper and deeper as he got used to the feeling of giving head again.

Castiel tangled his fingers in Dean's hair but didn't push his head down or even thrust up into his mouth. Instead he let the surplice drop from his mouth and whispered, 'Thy lips, o my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue.' When Dean managed to get his cock deep enough to swallow around it, Castiel's entire body stiffened, and he came with a groan. 'I'm sorry,' he panted as Dean finished licking him clean, 'it happened so quickly I couldn’t warn you.'

'It's all right, I wanted you to,' Dean assured him. 'Was it good?'

'Worth going to Hell for,' Castiel teased with a glint in his eye. 'Let me do you now.' Dean stood up and quickly undid his trousers, pushing them down to reveal- 'Are those panties?' Castiel asked in hushed tones.

'Uh, yeah, is that OK?'

Castiel didn't bother to reply with words, and just let the actions of his hands and tongue do the talking. He mouthed over the shape of Dean's cock under the panties while he grabbed Dean's ass and pushed him forward. Taking the waistband in his teeth, he pulled down just enough to free the head so he could get his mouth on it, teasingly at first- but then impatience got the better of him, and he pulled them down to give him full access.

Though lacking in technique, Castiel's enthusiasm for Dean's cock earned him an A-plus as far as Dean was concerned. He licked and sucked like he was starving for it, moaning with pleasure when he tasted Dean's pre-come, and looking up to meet Dean's eyes as his lips stretched around the shaft.

'Damn, Cas, fuck, you're so hot like that,' Dean muttered, desperate to keep control a bit longer. 'I'm gonna blow,' he warned, and Castiel came off with a pop, replacing his mouth with his hands to bring Dean over the edge. Dean threw his head back, eyes shut tight as he came- a fact he regretted immediately after, when he realised he'd missed the spectacle of covering Castiel's face and vestments with his come. The final image was still very enticing, and when Castiel wiped off his face with the surplice, Dean thought for a second that he might almost get hard again from the sheer kinky blasphemy of it all.

'I probably shouldn't put this in the communal laundry,' Castiel joked. 'They might suspect something.'

'Let's get out of here, Cas,' Dean said, feeling a sudden urgency. 'Let's take my car and hit the road. We can go crash with Sammy in California for a while until we figure out where we want to end up. Let's go tonight, right now.'

Castiel put a soothing hand to Dean's cheek. 'We'll go,' he assured him, 'but not tonight.'

'Why not? What's holding us back?'

'Dean, my love… if we leave right now, you won't be able to fuck me on the altar.'

Dean had to admit that Castiel made a compelling argument.


End file.
